July 16, 2017: Participation Trophy

I was in the kitchen cutting up an evil onion which was making me cry.  Rowan was walking past and literally backpedaled when he saw my tears.

Rowan:  Mama?  How you doin’?

Me: Oh, I’m doing okay, I was just cutting up this onion here–

Rowan:  Mama?  I’m going to give you something.

(Slides his arms around my waist and gives me a hug.)

Rowan:  It’s a trophy for when you get done because I know you’re going to do a good job.

Me:  Awww, thanks, buddy.

Rowan:  (as he runs away to play Minecraft)  I’m proud of you!

Me:  (Real tears.)

May 26, 2017: That’s probably it.

(Joel and Rowan are driving down the street and go past the O’ Riley’s Auto Parts store, where a police car is parked in the parking lot.)

Joel:  Woah, Rowan, what do you think that police man is doing at the auto parts store?

Rowan:  I don’t know.  Maybe buying new light bulbs for his wee-oooh.

March 10, 2017: For no raisin.

So, I think I came in on the middle of this conversation because I have no idea what led up to it.

Rowan:  For no reason!  For no reason!  For no REEEEAAASON!  For no reeaaaiiison!  For no raaaiison! For no RAISIN!  FOR NO RAISIN!

Joel:  Why are you saying it like that?

Lucy: (NOT amused)  For no raisin.  Obviously.

 

Fast forward a week. 

 

Me: Rowan, take your plate to the sink if you’re done.

Rowan: I can’t!  I’m a old man!  Uuuuuugggghhhhhh!!!

(Proceeds to stagger around as if his arms don’t work and his legs only just.)

Me:  (trying not to laugh)  I’m not sure which old man you’re emulating, but all the ones I know can take their plates to the sink.

Lucy: I can’t take my plate either!  I’m an ooold laaayyydeeee! (with some sort of weird southern accent?)

(Lots of staggering and groaning, no taking plates to the sink.)

(I am laughing.  Joel is not.)

Rowan:  Join us, Dada!  UUUUGHH I’M A OLD MAN!!

Lucy:  Uuuhhhhhhggghhh, I’m an ooooold ladyyyyy! (flops) (Still with a southern accent)

Me:  Yeah, Dada! (Old lady southern accent)  Join us!  But when ya get old!  Ya get from the south!  Fer no raisin!