Me: Lucy, can you empty the dishwasher please?
(For the sake of brevity, we’re going to pretend she said:)
Lucy: Sure, Mom! I’d love to!
Me: Thanks Lucy! I really appreciate the help, and I’m super glad you did it without whining!
(I actually did say that, because I’m adept at being passive aggressive.)
Lucy: Ok, I put away eight plates. And I closed the cupboard door so nobody would kill themselves.
Me: Good, thanks. I wouldn’t want to kill myself.
Lucy: Well, if you did… I’d just leave it open.
Me: Gosh, thanks.