Today is Lucy’s 6th birthday, and we read her baby book tonight instead of a regular book. I’m feeling nostalgic, so I’m sharing the poem I wrote for Lucy before she was born. I told Lucy that we give her presents on her birthday because she gave me the best present on her birth day. She made me a mom.
My dearest baby
My as of yet unnamed but already loved baby
My Lucy, my Logan, my Korvin, my Leyna
My any of the other much discussed and debated names
I do not know you, I’ve never met you
I’ve never seen your face
but I already cherish your downy eyebrows (which will never ruffle)
that cover your chocolate-brown or maybe fiery-green eyes
I can already smell your sweet scent
and know that I’ll be breathing shallow breaths whenever I’m near you
to protect you from my invasive and corrosive germs.
I may have to pick up some masks from the hospital.
We are going to laugh so much!
I will read to you and we will laugh
and we will swing and you will laugh.
Your dad and I will tell you we love you. And you will laugh. But it’s true.
I didn’t even know that I was waiting for this.
But I realize now that on my pathway
I was planning, and waiting, and sacrificing for you.
You will bring me joy, and pain.
I will add you in to every moment.
I will calm your tears, and covet your respect
and smooth your eyebrows to show you I understand.
You won’t remember the first days
But I will never forget them.
They will be chaos and crippling tenderness
and I will know my place.
It will be at your cradle side
touching your soft eyebrows as tears roll down my face.
I love you, my child.