August 12, 2013: “Expecting”

Today is Lucy’s 6th birthday, and we read her baby book tonight instead of a regular book. I’m feeling nostalgic, so I’m sharing the poem I wrote for Lucy before she was born.  I told Lucy that we give her presents on her birthday because she gave me the best present on her birth day.  She made me a mom.

Expecting

My dearest baby
My as of yet unnamed but already loved baby
My Lucy, my Logan, my Korvin, my Leyna
My any of the other much discussed and debated names

I do not know you, I’ve never met you
I’ve never seen your face
but I already cherish your downy eyebrows (which will never ruffle)
that cover your chocolate-brown or maybe fiery-green eyes

I can already smell your sweet scent
and know that I’ll be breathing shallow breaths whenever I’m near you
to protect you from my invasive and corrosive germs.
I may have to pick up some masks from the hospital.

We are going to laugh so much!
I will read to you and we will laugh
and we will swing and you will laugh.
Your dad and I will tell you we love you. And you will laugh. But it’s true.

I didn’t even know that I was waiting for this.
For you.
But I realize now that on my pathway
I was planning, and waiting, and sacrificing for you.

You will bring me joy, and pain.
I will add you in to every moment.
I will calm your tears, and covet your respect
and smooth your eyebrows to show you I understand.

You won’t remember the first days
But I will never forget them.
They will be chaos and crippling tenderness
and I will know my place.

It will be at your cradle side
barely breathing
touching your soft eyebrows as tears roll down my face.
I love you, my child.

~Emma Kucera~
It has my nose!  27 weeks 2

Photo by Jeni Valdez - paperview photography.com
Photo by Jeni Valdez – paperview photography.com
Photo by Jeni Valdez - paperview photograhy.com
Photo by Jeni Valdez – paperview photograhy.com
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